You Know You're Growing Old When...

• You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.


• The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.


• You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.


• You've found yourself discussing the weather.


• You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.


• You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.


• Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.


• You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe they work.


• You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.


• You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.


• You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation" Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.


• The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.


• You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.


• You know what Earth Shoes are.


• You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.


• Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.