Resolution: Exercise More

• I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
• The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
• If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
• Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
• My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.
• The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
• I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
• And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.